A Spiritual Awakening Rooted in Sensitivity, Trauma, and Ancestral Love
Before Light Essence existed as a name, a vision, or something I could explain, most of my journey so far had already happened.
This wasn’t a sudden awakening or a dramatic spiritual moment. It was a slow remembering that unfolded across decades through the body, through grief, through love, and through experiences that didn’t make sense until much later.
Before I share the real-time unfolding of Light Essence, I want to take you back to the beginning.
The roots matter.
A Sensitive Nervous System in a Loud World
From as early as I can remember, I experienced life intensely.
Sounds felt louder. Emotions felt heavier. I picked up on undercurrents others seemed unaware of. I didn’t have language for it then, but I was deeply sensitive energetically, emotionally, intuitively.
At six years old, I had a moment that still lives clearly in my body. I suddenly became aware that I was alive not just existing, but conscious. A soul inside a body, experiencing itself. There was no fear in it, only awe and gratitude. It’s something I kept to myself. It never needed external validation or explanation.
That awareness never left me. It simply waited for me to grow into it.
My Grandmother: Safety, Love, and Soul Memory
My grandmother was my first safe place.
When she held me, my body softened. My breath slowed. Her presence regulated me in a way nothing else could. She sang to me often, You Are My Sunshine and Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Those songs became anchors. Symbols of love, loss, hope, and the thin veil between worlds.
She carried her own deep pain. Abuse. Silence. The loss of her twin at birth. And yet she chose gentleness. She chose softness in a world that hadn’t been soft to her.
Leaving her was always painful. Each goodbye lodged itself somewhere deep in my chest. Even as a child, I understood impermanence that loving deeply meant risking loss.
Trauma Before Language
There are chapters of my life that shaped me before I had the words to explain them.
Early abuse taught my body to stay alert. To brace. To survive. I became independent young, strong, capable but disconnected from my softness.
Trauma lived in my body long before it lived in my conscious memory. Injuries, tension, anxiety, hormonal imbalances, none of it was random. My body was holding what hadn’t yet been witnessed.
Nature became my refuge. The land felt familiar, grounding, safe. Animals, open space, quiet, my nervous system recognised something ancient there. Long before I understood ancestral healing, my body already knew.
Signs, Symbols, and a Quiet Conversation With Life
Even before I called myself spiritual, life was speaking to me.
Dreams were vivid and symbolic. I sensed things before they happened. And signs followed me gently but persistently.
Bluebirds appeared during moments of grief and transition, symbols of messages, reassurance, and continued connection.
Rainbows arrived after emotional release, reminders that beauty and pain coexist.
Songs played at exact moments, answering questions I hadn’t spoken aloud.
Nothing felt accidental. Life felt responsive like a conversation I was slowly remembering how to hear.
Relationships as Mirrors and Teachers
My relationships reflected where I was in my healing.
Some taught me safety without depth. Others mirrored unhealed trauma. Some showed me tenderness; others showed me where I was abandoning myself.
I don’t view these relationships as failures. They were initiations. Each one refined my boundaries, my self-trust, and my understanding of love.
I learned that love isn’t meant to contain you.
It’s meant to support your becoming.
My Grandmother’s Passing and the Opening of the Veil
When my grandmother passed, something in me broke open and something else awakened.
Grief stripped me raw. And in that vulnerability, I felt her presence not as memory, but as energy. She came through in dreams, signs, bluebirds, and that familiar warmth in my chest.
She had promised she would return. And she did.
Her passing became the catalyst for my conscious spiritual awakening. Not dramatic but undeniable. A knowing settled into me that life doesn’t end with the body.
This Is the Foundation of Light Essence
Light Essence did not begin as a business idea.
It emerged from lived experience.
From sensitivity.
From trauma and healing.
From ancestral memory.
From love that never left.
This was only the beginning.
Continue reading Part Two: The Awakening in Real Time
As always,
If you feel called to connect please contact me via the contact page, Instagram, or leave a comment below.
Love & Light,
J ♡
